on the dick like
I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE
new bra from victoria secret! :)
A woman stands in her bedroom. She is with her attractive male lover. The air is filled with desire. They both look into each other’s eyes. The female, with a slightly bashful smile, takes off her clothes, starting with the pants first, and finally the shirt. She is wearing the bra. The man’s eyes opened wider in interest. His interest is peaked. The woman strutted closer to him, her eyes batting and her smile growing. She leans into his ear and with a breathy voice, she spoke:
I graduate in three days, I pay my own bills, I have a car, and I’m reading fanfiction about a lettuce bra.
It has a little lettuce bow.
I’ve been laughing for 7 minutes oh my god
sorry son, it’s not MY fault you were born on opposite day.. now where are my presents
i actually like asshole couples best like the couples that pick on each other so much and call each other names but it’s okay because you know they’re actually totally in love and none of it is meant in a mean way and every insult is punctuated by a sweet comment to remind the other how much they actually adore them and i’m sorry but there isn’t anything cuter ok
"its just baby fat" i tell myself until im 50